


The Song of the Way Things Were Not

by Luckynumber13



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: F/M, What Tabris really saw in the circle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-24
Updated: 2020-01-24
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:22:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22381777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luckynumber13/pseuds/Luckynumber13
Summary: Kallian Tabris woke up in a beautiful house with a beautiful family, but are things all they seem?
Relationships: Nelaros/Female Tabris (Dragon Age)
Kudos: 7





	The Song of the Way Things Were Not

A high-pitched wail pierced the morning silence. The shock caused Kallian to sit straight up in bed and reach for her sword, but she caught only air.

"It's your turn to check on her," groaned a tired voice from next to her. It took a moment of blinking a few times before realizing who it was. 

"Nelaros?" Her eyes went wide and she felt tears threatening to form.

"Is something wrong, dearest?" asked the man Kallian now recognized as her husband. 

"I thought…" she choked on a sob. "I saw you die." 

Nelaros sat up in their bed to embrace her. "The nightmare again?" he asked, stroking her hair. She found herself nodding. "Everything is alright. I'm right here." 

Of course, she remembered. It was a nightmare. That was why she woke and reached for a blade that was not next to her. Even now, the details of the dream were growing fuzzy and fading away. Everything  _ was _ fine, even the sound that woke her. 

"I'll go check on Adaia," she said, smiling and kissing her husband on the cheek before getting out of bed. A small mirror on the wall showed her the growing bump under her nightgown. She chuckled. For a moment, she'd forgotten she was pregnant!

Her daughter's cries quieted down when she entered the room. "Mama's here," she cooed as she reached down to pick the infant up out of her crib. “I bet you’re hungry. Come on, baby.” With a child on her hip, she made her way to the kitchen to start cooking breakfast.”

“Porridge, I’m guessing?” Nelaros asked with a yawn as he joined his wife and child in the kitchen.

“My husband, the psychic,” Kallian said fondly as she passed the baby off to his waiting arms so she could begin cooking.

“Don’t tell anyone, or they’ll cart me off to the circle!” He chuckled. “Then where would we be?”

For a moment, she froze.  _ The circle, _ she thought.  _ There’s something about the circle. Something important. _

“Darling?” her husband asked, snapping her out of her reverie. “Are you alright?”

It took Kallian a moment to respond. “I think that the nightmare just stuck with me a bit more than usual,” she answered, shaking her head. “Nothing to worry about.”

“Nightmares can do that,” Nelaros agreed. He moved closer to kiss her forehead. “I wouldn’t worry about it.”

It was almost strange how comforting her husband’s presence was. For a moment, she felt as if she hadn’t had comfort in months. The phantom aches from the rough sleeping in her dream seemed a bit too real, but they weren’t. It was just one of those nightmares she had every now and then. She was fine.

“I think you’ll want to change into normal clothes before your cousin gets here,” he suggested. “If you wear a nightgown all day, she’ll start to think you’re becoming a housewife.”

“Perish the thought!” Kallian gasped, bringing a hand to her chest in a mocking impression of the wealthy women who walked in the market and were scandalized by every little thing.

“It’s impossible to think of you that way,” Nelaros smiled. “And I prefer when you make trouble.”

“That’s how we got a daughter, isn’t it?” she chuckled before returning to the bedroom to change into normal day clothes.

It didn’t take long before Shianni entered the small house without even so much as a knock.

“Adaia!” the woman shouted. “Your favorite aunt is here!”

Kallian rolled her eyes at the explosive entrance of her cousin. “Putting aside the fact that you’re not  _ technically  _ her aunt, you’re going to make her deaf by age three if you keep yelling like that.”

“Excuse me if I seem overly excited to see the baby,” Shianni shot back, a smile cutting any acid in her tone. She nearly ran over to take the girl from the arms of her father. “Besides, she’s the best thing that’s happened around here in a while. And will be until your next one comes along.” She stared pointedly at Kallian’s growing belly. “Have you thought about names for him yet?”

“Hold on a minute,” Nelaros cut in. “How do you know it’s a boy already? It could be a girl.”

“Right, but I predicted that your first child would be a girl, didn’t I?” Shianni’s self-satisfied smile was all she needed as proof.

Kallian laughed. It was always amusing to see her cousin and husband argue with each other over small things. It was a nice break from worrying about more serious matters like money or darkspawn.

_ Darkspawn?  _ The thought hit her suddenly. There hadn’t been any darkspawn sightings near Denerim in years. It must have been another worry held over from her nightmare.

“And besides,” Shianni continued, “have you noticed that your wife hasn’t been craving sweets?”

“What does that have to do with anything?” Nelaros asked.

“She always had the biggest sweet tooth when we were growing up, but since she got pregnant, she hasn’t put so much as a spoon of honey in her tea. That means she’s having a boy.”

“Superstition!”

“Well, even so, I still think it’s good to be prepared with names, and-”

“Alistair,” Kallian blurted out. The other two adults turned to look at her. It was almost comedic the way their confused expressions mirrored each other. “I think Alistair would be a good name, if it’s a boy.”

Both her cousin and husband exchanged looks before Shianni spoke up.

“Don’t you think that’s a bit of a…  _ shem  _ name?” she asked.

There was a long pause. “Oh,” Kallian finally replied. “I guess I didn’t even consider that. It’s just that it’s a nice name that just popped into my head.”

“Well, it is a nice name,” Nelaros agreed after a moment. “We can think about it, if you really want to.”

There was something about the name, she thought, although she couldn’t put her finger on it. It was a good, strong name, she decided. There must have been a character in a book with that name.

“Well, even if it is a shem name,” Shianni nodded as she bounced Adaia on her knee, “it’s nice, I suppose. He’ll grow into a good man, with parents like you two.”

“Well, given we survive the Blight,” Kallian chuckled. Suddenly, the others in the room, even her baby daughter, were staring at her.

“What did you say, darling?” Nelaros asked, looking concerned. “There’s no Blight going on. Everything’s fine.” His voice had a confidence in it that should have put her at ease, but there was something off. “Why do you say such silly things?”

The room seemed to shift as Shianni spoke up. “Cousin, are you feeling alright?” That was wrong. Shianni never called her “Cousin” as if it was a name. Kallian tried to stand up, but a swirling dizziness seemed to take over her head. This wasn’t right. She wasn’t supposed to be here.

“You’re just feeling tired from your nightmare,” Nelaros insisted. His voice dropped whatever kindness it had before. He was trying to force her to believe whatever he was saying, but it was wrong.

“Mama, stop it!” Adaia - her child who had yet to speak a single word - yelled.

She clapped her hands to her ears. “No no no!” she shouted, slamming her eyes shut. “Stop! This isn’t real! You’re not real!”

Suddenly, the scene shifted. She was still in her home, but her cousin and husband had morphed into terrible demonic figures.

“You couldn’t just be happy?” one snapped in Nelaros’ voice before lunging forward. Kallian reached back and felt the hilt of her sword she swore wasn’t there before and slashed out at the shades. When she righted herself, a pedestal stood in the middle of the room, and it all came rushing back.

“The others,” she murmured as she went to touch it. “I’m coming.”

…

When they got back to camp, Kallian went straight to tending the fire. She didn’t really want to talk to anyone after everything they saw in the circle. It was all too much.

Leave it to Alistair to not understand that she wanted to be left alone for the night.

“Can I ask you something?” His voice startled her as she began to walk back to her tent.

“What is it?” she snapped as she turned around, though she immediately regretted being even slightly harsh. Damn him and his pretty eyes. She couldn’t  _ not  _ answer any question he had when he looked at her like that. When they first met, she immediately felt attracted to him. That led to feelings of shame. She just watched her would-be husband die to save her, after all. Even if they barely knew each other, didn’t he deserve some mourning before she looked at another man? The dream from the sloth demon brought that shame back to the surface once more.

“Oh,” he stepped back and looked down a bit. “I was just wondering about something. In the fade, you saw our dreams, but we couldn’t break out of them on our own. You broke out by yourself, though. What dream did it give you?”

Tears pricked her eyes as she thought of Nelaros, Adaia, and the glimpse of the life she could have had. None of it was real, no matter how much she wished it could be. But how could she explain that to him? He didn’t even know what circumstances brought her to the Wardens. He only said that he was glad she was there now. She could never tell him that she wished it never happened, but she was glad they met. He’d never understand.

“I, uh, I saw Duncan,” she lied. “And Weisshaupt fortress. He told us that we defeated the Archdemon and set fire to the darkspawn tunnels. He sounded more confident about it than I ever heard him in real life. I knew it was bullshit.”

Alistair nodded, though whether it was because he believed her or he realized she didn’t want to tell him the truth just yet, she couldn’t say.

**Author's Note:**

> I couldn't get this idea out of my head. I know that they couldn't tailor the sequence to every player, especially not with the constraints of development over 10 years ago, but there is no way that every Warden would really have the same dream. Also, the title is a reference to a song from "Next to Normal" called "The Song of Forgetting." Just thought it fit.


End file.
